How do We Kill Izzie? [tv]  

Posted by AW in , , ,

With the news being reported that creators and writers of the venerable estrogen-fest, Grey's Anatomy, will KILL OFF Katherine Heigl's character "Izzie" due to contract disputes, one has to wonder...what would be the best way to kill her off? I submit to you, Shonda Rhimes, the following:

Shark attack:
In the episode where the whole gang goes on a cruise for a "team building exercise," they're dismayed to find out that bad shrimp and mussels causes the whole crew to become deathly ill. Not only do McDreamy and McSteamy have to learn how to steer the ship, but a battle of jealousy over the now seasick captain causes Meredith to push Izzie into the large ornamental cake at the buffet table, causing huge embarrassment and shame for Izzie, who storms off with frosting all over her new evening gown. And then a bad ass CGI shark jumps onto the boat and eats her.

Islamist Extremist Attack:
In a wacky episode, the gang decides to go to Afghanistan to volunteer at a field hospital. The mostly female gang learns about the muslim religion, reconciling their own prejudicies and stereotypes as they begin to understand the totality of the conflict in the Middle East. McDreamy has sex with Meredith on a camel. Then a muslim extremist runs up, shoves a bomb in Izzie's mouth and her head explodes.

A regular day at the hospital turns into tragedy, as an earthquake (y'know, all those earthquakes that happen in Seattle) causes the ground to crack open revealing a flaming pit of lava underneath. As Izzie is the closest to the crack, she falls in only to be caught at the last second by Meredith, who yells "Hold on!" as she valiantly tries to pull her back up. Then, in a surprise return, Isaiah Washington's character appears on screen with a gun and proclaims "I hate gay people." He then shoots Izzie in the head causing her to fall to her fiery death. Meredith has sex to cope with the tragedy.

Bomb Scare in the Hospital:
A man comes in with a live bomb lodged in his body....oh wait. Next.

A Very Special Episode:
Izzie gets AIDS. As the hospital deals with the tragedy of the news, Izzie begins to learn acceptance of her fate, and a desire to do good with the time she has left in the world. As she stands at the window contemplating her life and the little time she has left, a shark jumps through the window and eats her.


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