What Would Denzel Do?  

A friend of mine once gave me some sage advice, that I still use to this very day. Whenever I'm feeling lost, like I don't know my way in life, I just sit back and ask the question, "What would Denzel Do?"

By Denzel, he of course meant Denzel Washington, actor extraordinaire. A man amongst men, a man for all seasons, both intelligent and handsome, suave and tough, street smart while sophisticated. In his long career in movies, there's pretty much nothing he CAN'T do. So when you're wondering what to do in life, you simply take a step back and ask yourself, what would Denzel do in this situation?

Here's some starting points. Maybe he'll help you through a tough situation you're going through right now:

Avenge the shit out of someone:
Philadelphia, John Q, Man on Fire, Courage Under Fire
Look, life doesn't always work out for everyone. It's a cruel world out there, and sometimes you feel like you just can't take it anymore. You have to suit up, and get out there to kick some fucking ass. Whether it's for a dude dying of AIDS, for your family, or just b/c you're a former assassin who feels like someone crossed the line, you go out there, and you blow shit up, take people hostage, or work your magic in the courtroom. And hey, guess what? You might learn a lesson on the way about yourself.

Change the World:
The Great Debaters, Remember the Titans, Antwone Fisher
Sometimes it's not about you, sometimes it's about how your actions affect others. You take a stand for something in this world, and show others that it's not about the color of their skin, or the socioeconomic background of their families...or that you're badly in need of psychoanalysis after violent outbursts in the armed services, you change the life of someone because inevitably, it will change the world, and one day, Denzel will play you in a movie about your life.

Be smooth and kinda bad ass:
Mo Betta Blues, Devil in a Blue Dress, Inside Man
Life can be a bitch, so you just gotta roll with the punches. Wear a wry smile, play some jazz trumpet, wear a bad ass hat and a white suit, or hang with some deceptive slutty women in the deep South. It ain't nothing but another day in the life of a playa, so smooth that even when he buys the same dress for two women who show up at the same bar, he can escape it. Kinda...Sure, they may not want to like you, but goddamnit they'll respect you.

Use your mind, and like, the internet:
Virtuosity, The Pelican Brief, The Bone Collector
Sometimes, you have to help goofy ass white women do their jobs, because you're Denzel Washington, goddamnit. Whether it's criminal investigation, legal work (see also: Philadelphia), or....hunting virtual reality killers, the mind is always mightier.

Beat up/torment a white dude:
Malcolm X, Training Day, American Gangster
Sometimes, you really have no choice but to grab the closest white boy, and make him smoke angel dust, or join the Nation of Islam and start a movement to take back what's rightfully yours, by any means necessary. Life gets that way sometimes. And white people are ALWAYS the problem. That's what Spike Lee tells me all the time.

Bust Some Animated Rhymes:
Mother Goose: A Rappin' and Rhymin' Special, as Humpty Dumpty
Because sometimes you take a lot of mushrooms, by accident.