Prince Pants Dance Party [music]  

Posted by AW in ,


In honor of me attending a Prince vs. Michael Jackson vs. Madonna dance party tomorrow, here is a post where I make a bunch of controversially conclusive statements about these three seminal artists in an effort to piss off the blogosphere. If you know where the party's at, I'm going to be the one yelling the loudest when the DJ stops the music and says "where the bloggers at!?" WOOO!

PRINCE:
  • "Kiss" is not as good as you think it is
  • "Purple Rain" IS as good as you think it is
  • It is completely appropriate to air guitar during the guitar solo in "Purple Rain" (also acceptable circumstance, Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" solo, but surprisingly NOT "Sweet Child O'Mine")
  • "Alphabet St." is an underrated song
  • What the fuck is a raspberry beret?
  • In Re: Controversy...Prince is the only human being capable of existing in both gay and straight states simultaneously, to the extreme in both directions, without ripping the fabric of space and time
  • "Diamonds and Pearls" is as creepy as you think it is
  • "Pussy Control" should be our national anthem



MICHAEL JACKSON:
  • Off the Wall is his best album. YEAH I SAID IT, THRILLER.
  • "Smooth Criminal" is not as good as you think it is
  • "Thriller" IS as good as you think it is
  • Yes, that's Heavy D in "Jam"...why? Why not?
  • "Heal the World" is gay
  • "In the Closet" surprisingly, is not
  • "Black or White" has an annoying intro that's close to 1 minute. ONE FUCKING MINUTE Michael Jackson. Seriously? Your hit single, and you make us wait 55 seconds for the song to start? You're an asshole.
  • If you're standing around someone when "Burn this Disco Out" comes on, and they don't start dancing? They are a witch. Tie them up and throw them in the closest body of water. If they float, they are a witch. Burn at stake. If they sink, they are not a witch. But best to err on the side of caution.


MADONNA:
  • Sucks.

1 comments

DaveB   says January 16, 2009 12:59 PM

Now, Madonna doesn't completely suck. Of the three, Prince is the obvious winner, since he's got more than a couple great albums and/or radio hits. All things considered, though, I'm not sure if I give solo Jackson much of an advantage over Madonna, song-for-song. He's got her beat for undeniable natural talent, but he's often squandered it while she's put forth an effort into being interesting, if nothing else - and it tended to work up until the last decade or so.

I haven't loved anything she's put out probably since the 80s or early 90s, but I can say the same thing about Jackson, and she's at least released tolerable stuff since, and Jackson hasn't.

Post a Comment

Newer Post Older Post

About Us

Seven guys who refuse to act their age. Important opinions on unimportant topics. More useless knowledge than they know what to do with.

Writers
E.....wears ironic tshirts unironically.

Y.....wishes he still followed wrestling.  

LD....whatever he hits, he destroys.

N8....finally learned that the cake is a lie.

SN....cut his left ear off with a hacksaw.

Grimbil....is growin' and showin'

JC....is addicted to stimpaks.

Contact Us

We love hate mail! It's a conundrum!

geek.prospectus
_at_gmail.com

Subscribe Now!

Archives

Labels