Rom Com Roundup: 27 Dresses [4 of 30]
Posted by AW in 27 Dresses, E, movies, Rom Com Roundup
Before we start, I'd like to quote a friend of the blog, dj, in a recent conversation:
There's a scene in "Body of Lies" where Leo and his spy partner are checking out a suspected terrorist safehouse. As his buddy heads for the house, he gives Leo a sniper rifle and says: "If things go bad, you know what to do. I'm not getting my head cut off on YouTube." So Leo watches the whole thing unfold from afar through the scope.What I'm trying to say here is that, in this situation, I'm kind of like Leo, and you're kind of like his spy partner, and these movies are sort of like Al Qaida. At some point, I may have to kill you for your own good.
That being said, we soldier on...
The Movie: 27 Dresses
The Blurb: Holy hell, this is one despicable fucking movie. Katherine Heigl is a perpetual bridesmaid who's been to 27 weddings! Wow, that's a lot, right? But she's holding out for her boss, who she's in love with and hasn't done shit about for years. So when her bitch ass sister comes to visit from doing whatever she does, I assume whoring around in Europe, she falls in love with her boss and they decide to get married. So Heigl spends the rest of the movie in misery watching her sister lie to her boss to win him over, until Heigl decides to break their wedding up. Y'know, her sister! Oh, and in the meantime, James Marsden saves this movie from being a complete pile of cancerous shit by being a cynical wedding announcement writer who decides to do a feature on Heigl's life, and falls in love with her in the process.
The Conventions: Wedding montage, car stuck in the mud leading to hot rain sex, the sound of my face melting off...
Did I Cry? Only for the lost minutes of my life, my youth..
Current State of Mind: Fucking shit, this movie was abysmal. If Made of Honor kinda reminded me what it was like to honestly win back the girl you're in love with, 27 Dresses is kind of like its immature, retarded, hateful, spiteful little sister, who teaches you that love only comes when you ruin someone else's, or pick up the ashes from someone else's failure. It is such a hateful, spiteful, awful movie tied up in pretty ribbons and fancy makeup, that if this was a woman, I would never stop slapping her in the face. Honestly, other than Marsden (marginally), no one else in this movie is at all redeemable. Ed Burns is a morally bankrupt idiot, her sister is a caraicature of a bitch, Heigl is a weak willed doormat. And we're supposed to believe that these are the actions of individuals who have anything to teach us about love? Fuck no. Fuck these people!
So what did I learn from this movie? Uhh...I learned that I still really like Marsden as an actor, even though he only gets shit roles. And maybe he's right to be cynical, b/c if this is the kind of shit that you can a) sell to people; and b) have people buy (it earned $76M domestically on a $30M production budget), then you're probably better off being a dick and having a good time at others' expense, b/c the fucking people who eat this movie up deserve whatever shitty love they get, or for me to laugh in their face at the thought that any of this is at all acceptable.
Oh, and "Bennie and the Jets"?! FUCK YOU 27 DRESSES. ugh....if this is how to find what people think is love, I'm better off as a cynical, single prick.
Up Next: Hitch
The Movie: 27 Dresses
The Blurb: Holy hell, this is one despicable fucking movie. Katherine Heigl is a perpetual bridesmaid who's been to 27 weddings! Wow, that's a lot, right? But she's holding out for her boss, who she's in love with and hasn't done shit about for years. So when her bitch ass sister comes to visit from doing whatever she does, I assume whoring around in Europe, she falls in love with her boss and they decide to get married. So Heigl spends the rest of the movie in misery watching her sister lie to her boss to win him over, until Heigl decides to break their wedding up. Y'know, her sister! Oh, and in the meantime, James Marsden saves this movie from being a complete pile of cancerous shit by being a cynical wedding announcement writer who decides to do a feature on Heigl's life, and falls in love with her in the process.
The Conventions: Wedding montage, car stuck in the mud leading to hot rain sex, the sound of my face melting off...
Did I Cry? Only for the lost minutes of my life, my youth..
Current State of Mind: Fucking shit, this movie was abysmal. If Made of Honor kinda reminded me what it was like to honestly win back the girl you're in love with, 27 Dresses is kind of like its immature, retarded, hateful, spiteful little sister, who teaches you that love only comes when you ruin someone else's, or pick up the ashes from someone else's failure. It is such a hateful, spiteful, awful movie tied up in pretty ribbons and fancy makeup, that if this was a woman, I would never stop slapping her in the face. Honestly, other than Marsden (marginally), no one else in this movie is at all redeemable. Ed Burns is a morally bankrupt idiot, her sister is a caraicature of a bitch, Heigl is a weak willed doormat. And we're supposed to believe that these are the actions of individuals who have anything to teach us about love? Fuck no. Fuck these people!
So what did I learn from this movie? Uhh...I learned that I still really like Marsden as an actor, even though he only gets shit roles. And maybe he's right to be cynical, b/c if this is the kind of shit that you can a) sell to people; and b) have people buy (it earned $76M domestically on a $30M production budget), then you're probably better off being a dick and having a good time at others' expense, b/c the fucking people who eat this movie up deserve whatever shitty love they get, or for me to laugh in their face at the thought that any of this is at all acceptable.
Oh, and "Bennie and the Jets"?! FUCK YOU 27 DRESSES. ugh....if this is how to find what people think is love, I'm better off as a cynical, single prick.
Up Next: Hitch
