Rom Com Roundup: Must Love Dogs [12 of 30]  

[Rom Com Roundup is a project where I watch 30 romantic comedies I've never seen from now until valentine's day and document how it affects my outlook on love. (Link to the full list of movies)]

The Movie: Must Love Dogs

The Blurb: Two divorcees (WHO DON'T EVEN OWN DOGS) meet via an internet dating website with a WHOOOOOLE LOTTA BAGGAGE. And wouldn't ya know, they hit it off, but end up on bad terms due to a series of coincidences. Each go off the map and almost lose themselves, only to find each other again cuz they love each other. Oh, and John Cusack wears a trenchcoat through the whole movie. I mean, seriously, dude, isn't it time you ditched that look?

Conventions: Gay guy friends, Dr. Zhivago as a point of reference, strip club to ease the woes of a guy, dating montage! TWO OF THEM!

Current State of Mind: Y'know, if you put a dog and John Cusack in a movie, chances are I'm going to like it. And this movie had about oh, half an hour of charm to it. Too bad it crumbles into the ashes of its own absurdity. First, there's a family sing-a-long to the Partridge Family Theme, and I mean, that's charming. No, seriously, it was. And then there's the first date with the overly intense Cuscack talking about the universe, and all that. And then, things go ahhh kerfluffle, and lo and behold, this movie turns into some shit culminating in an old man talking about how dating three women at once MIGHT make him forget about the love of his life who passed away. Um...what? After that, well...shit only goes one way on a hill.

This movie was supposed to be a movie about adults, which should have had some mature things to say. Only, no one acts like an adult in this movie. They act like idiotic, self-centered, sex-crazed, petty, retarded assclowns. This movie wanted to tell you that your life's never over, and that everyone has their huckleberry somewhere out there. But they built their whole dating profiles through LIES, and their only connection was made by Cusack spitting some philosophical shit about the universe. And then the ending of this movie, holy god. Are you kidding me?

Thanks Must Love Dogs. Thanks for ruining a good vibe I had going. And to bring DOGS, cute, adorable, lovable dogs into this. You deserve no less than death. If this is what I'm going to act like as a 40 something, god...I better find someone before I get there. God save me.

Up Next: Keeping the Faith